Faking My Own Suicide
by Julia-Caesar
Summary: After a heated fight with Elphaba, Fiyero comes up with a plan to convince her that she really does love him. But is his plan a little extreme? Fiyeraba. Shiz-era.  If you're not comfortable with talk of suicide, don't read  Not a song-fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh no. OH no. OH NO. OH NO! IS THIS IT, JULIA? IS THIS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE FIYERABA WE'VE ALL BEEN ON THE EDGE OF OUR SEATS WAITING FOR?**

**Why yes, yes it is. A few months ago, my laptop was being stupid and wouldn't open the document for me… So I deleted it, and secretly abandoned it because I'm sneaky like that. But earlier this month, as I hope you all know, the Hunger Games trailer premiered and I became inspired to write a super long chapter in pretty much… everything I've ever typed… Ever. So I started asking around, trying to figure out who I had sent it to, who had read it, and then I remember that I had sent a copy to my amazing Beta, DefyingGravity4Good, the day before my laptop was stupid. And so I hopefully searched through my outbox in DocX, and I FOUND IT! WOOOOOOOOOOO! I was excited beyond words, and now I'm overjoyed that I finally get to share this with everyone!**

**Now, the reason I've updated so much today (which you probably didn't notice unless you have me on Author Alert) is because today is the 1 Year Anniversary of the day I first saw Wicked! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Okay, so basically, a few months ago, I decided that to make today super special for not only myself, but for the Fanfiction community in general, I would post/update everything that I'd written as far as Fanfiction. Yay!**

**Alright, so now onto the actual fic. Basically, before any of you continue reading, I need you to open up a new tab/window/whatever and search Faking My Own Suicide by Relient K on Youtube, because without that song, none of this would've been written so… GO RELIENT K! WOO!**

**Seriously though, time for the main event. People of the world, I give you, Faking my Own Suicide:**

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><p>For every action, there is a reaction. And for most of Fiyero's actions, the reaction would be a slap on the face from Elphaba. But over the months of his time at Shiz, Fiyero slowly made his way to being her friend. It started with passing her tedious notes:<p>

_Hey, Elphaba, what're ya thinking about?_

_Go away, Tiggular._

It continued with having lunches with her:

"Hey, Elphaba, would it be alright if I joined you?"

"No."

"Oh, are you saving this seat for someone else?"

"No."

He tried a more innocent approach:

"Hey, Elphaba, could you help me with the Biology homework?"

"Shiz doesn't have a Biology class."

"Oh, yeah, right…"

And then he finished it off with one more attempt:

"Hey, Elphaba-"

"Go away."

"Okay."

So, in Fiyero's mind, they were practically best friends._ If I were Elphaba_, he schemed, _what would impress me?_

"She likes books," Nessarose offered cautiously when Fiyero interrupted her studies at the library to ask about Elphaba's interests.

"Is that it?" Fiyero prompted.

"Pretty much," Nessa confirmed. "Of course, she could have a completely alternate life as a pole-dancer and I'd probably never know."

"Oh, well, thanks for the suggestion," Fiyero sighed, disappointed.

"Why did you want to know anyway?" Nessa asked.

"Um-I uh- wanted to-" Fiyero stuttered. Well, he couldn't exactly tell the truth could he? There was still the fact that he was in a "perfect" relationship that prevented him from actually asking Elphaba out.

"Fiyero, dearest!" he heard his girlfriend, Galinda, nearly scream. Her clanking heels on the wood floor and high-pitched squeal was met with several, "Shhh!'s" coming from students who were cramming for Professor Lytira's monthly mathematics exam.

"Fiyero," Galinda greeted him, grabbing his hand. "Can I talk to you in private?"

"Of course," he replied, already being dragged out to the large courtyard in the middle of the Shiz campus.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I think that we should not continue to not just be friends," she explained nervously.

"…What?" Fiyero asked dumbstruck.

"I just think we should not be anything more than friends."

"So… you're breaking up with me?" Fiyero clarified.

"I don't want to not break up with you," she nodded, still avoiding the actually question.

"So do you not want to not break up then?"

"No."

"No, we're not not breaking up?"

"No, I don't want to not break up with you!'"

"...So we're still together?"

"NO!"

"Ohh," Fiyero said, "why didn't you just say so? Sheesh."

"Why aren't you upset?" Galinda asked, visibly disappointed that Fiyero wasn't begging for her to take him back.

"Um, I am. I'm just hiding my sadness for your sake," Fiyero lied quickly.

In all actuality, he couldn't be happier. He'd been worrying for weeks about how he was ever going to break up with Galinda, but now that she was breaking up with him, all was good.

"Truly, Fiyero, I hope that we can still be friends, and even through the pains of your broken heart, you may learn to forgive me," Galinda said with sincerity, obviously believing that Fiyero was actually heart-broken.

"I'll try my best," Fiyero told her, sniffling.

"Goodbye, Fiyero," she whispered. She turned and slowly (and dramatically) made her way back to the girls' dorms.

The moment she was out of sight, Fiyero did a small happy dance.

"Must you dance so stupidly, Tiggular?"

"Elphaba!" Fiyero exclaimed happily, twirling around mid-dance. There was Elphaba, sitting on a wooden bench, and it was obvious that she'd seen the entire ordeal with Galinda.

"Me!" she replied sarcastically. Fiyero looked at her closely. Nothing about her ever seemed to change. Her hair was always braided into a tight pleat, she always wore simple frocks that were either blue or black, and she always seemed to have a stack of books under her arm.

"Did you see all that?" he asked, chuckling awkwardly.

"Yes, and it certainly brightened my day, thank you very much," she replied, giving him a thumbs up. They laughed quietly for a moment before Fiyero joined her on the bench.

"Listen," Fiyero said, suddenly serious, "we need to talk."

"About your stupidity?" she guessed, looking at him with false concern.

"No! About that day… ya know…with the Lion Cub."

"There's nothing to talk about. Dr. Dillamond was arrested, and we released a poor little Lion Cub into the wild. And that's that," she snapped, looking down as she blushed.

"Aw, come on! There was more to it than that! Remember, you were all like, 'Somebody's gotta do something,'" he mimicked monotonously, doing the same pacing and arm movements that she'd made months before. "And then… then it was all BOOM, FLASH, FLICKER, and then everyone started doing these weird puppet dances, and I grabbed the Cub and was all like, 'Are you coming?'"

To say that Elphaba was not amused by Fiyero's story-telling abilities would be a complete and utter lie. And his impression of himself was hilarious; a crossover between an almighty god and an oblivious-to-the-world surfer dude. However, she really wished he'd stop talking about it. It just made her feel awkward about what had happened in the forest that day, how she'd touched his face…

And how he ran to 'safety.'

"And then you were all like, 'I know you're not actually self-absorbed and shallow,'" Fiyero continued telling her. "And then I was like, 'Yes, I am!' And then you were all like, 'No you're not, or you wouldn't be so unhappy,' and then a few minutes later you were all like, 'The Cub must've scratched you,' and I was like, 'Yeah, or maybe it scratched me or something,' and then… then you touched my face, and I ran away," he finished.

_Like a scared little boy_, Elphaba thought sourly.

_But why shouldn't he run away? You're hideous! _Her mind argued.

_Oh, just shut up, and let me talk to him!_

_I am you, smart one!_

"And your point is?" Elphaba asked pathetically, half-asking Fiyero, and half-asking the voice in her head.

"I think that we need to discuss what happened!" he stated, annoyed that she'd completely disregarded his 'amazing' story-telling skills.

"You're thinking again? Don't hurt yourself," she chastised him.

"Why do you always do that?" he practically yelled, exasperated.

"Do what?"

"Every time I say something even remotely serious, you shut me out and then insult my intelligence!" he replied, not missing a beat. "And what's worse, is that you told me that I _wasn't_ shallow and self-absorbed that day in the clearing! And ever since then, you've said nothing to me that would possibly support your method."

"I never said you weren't stupid," she pointed out.

"You denied you that thought I was _really_ stupid, though!"

For the first time in her entire life, Elphaba had absolutely no comeback, no witty remark, or any clever way of dragging him away from the topic. She was stunned into silence.

Fiyero, who was shocked by how loud his voice had gotten, sighed in frustration.

"I just think we should talk about it, that's all. I figured that maybe we could have lunch together and maybe… I don't know what I wanted, really. I guess I just wanted to spend time with you," he admitted.

Again, Elphaba was stunned into silence by his sincerity. Nobody had ever been so genuinely interested in what she said or did, much less actually want to spend time with her. Why would Fiyero have any more reason than the rest of the world to spend time with her?

"W-Why?" she finally managed to choke out.

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why would you want to spend time with me? I'm nothing but rude, critical, and insultingly green," she listed as if it were obvious.

"Green is my favorite color," Fiyero muttered. Elphaba snorted.

"Oh, you're serious?" she asked, looking into Fiyero's sincere eyes.

"Yes!" he declared, throwing his arms up in annoyance. "Honestly, for someone that's supposedly really smart, you can be extremely stupid sometimes!"

"Oh, I'm stupid?" Elphaba yelled, standing up swiftly, demanding to be at a higher point than him.

"Yes, I _do_ think you're stupid!" he countered, stranding up as well. "Sure, you may know just about everything there is to know about _boring_ and _unimportant_ stuff, but when it comes to having a _civil_ conversation with _anyone_, you are absolutely _stupid_!"

"Oh, you're one to talk Mr. I'm-Too-Good-To-Study! Maybe if you actually _attempted_ to learn something, you wouldn't think it was so damn boring!" Elphaba practically screamed at him, suddenly worked up at being called stupid.

She may not have been beautiful, but being smart was always something about her that she had been comfortable with and confident about. For anyone, especially Fiyero, to compromise that knowledge was something that she wouldn't allow.

"You know, Elphaba, maybe if you explored the possibilities of life, you would know that you can't get all of life's answers from a _book_!"

"Well, at least I don't spend my time cheating at life and asking others for answers all the time!"

"Ya know, you make it seem like you're heartless because you're green, but I think that you really are heartless! You just use the green as an excuse!"

"You caught me, Fiyero! I'm a soulless monster with no concern for anyone but herself!" Elphaba replied sarcastically.

"Oz, you are so infuriating!" Fiyero shouted, running his hand through his hair.

"Then why do you continuously talk to me?" she shouted back. By this point in the argument, other Shiz students had been either staring in fascination, or were cowering away from the two who by this point were now nose to nose, hearts racing.

"Well, I thought maybe we could be friends, but I suppose it was really just because I felt sorry for you!"

"And how do you feel now?" she asked.

"I feel the past five months have been nothing but lies!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah!"

"Then why are you still here?" she yelled, making what seemed like all of Oz go silent.

Fiyero stared at her for what seemed like forever. Why was he still there? The answer was unbeknownst to either of them. Why did he even bother trying to become friends… or possibly more than friends… when all she did was push him away? He needed some way to convince her that… he cared, that he didn't mean any of the mean things he was saying to her now. So why didn't he end the argument there?

And then it hit him.

"Because I love you," he whispered in awe at his discovery.

Elphaba slapped his face in reply, her face as red as it could get for someone with green skin. Though it was highly unlikely that any of the other Shiz students heard his confession, Elphaba was embarrassed, angry, and was upset by the lies he kept feeding her. How could he just play with her emotions like this, especially when... when she loved him?

"I hate you, Fiyero Tiggular!" she screamed, suddenly infuriated beyond belief. Didn't he realize that she really did have feelings and that he couldn't just come up to someone and tell them that? Especially her. But, she had become, unfortunately, good at hiding her emotions. Hiding your true emotions and feelings, as Elphaba had learned, made it easier to conceal disappointment or sadness.

"No, you don't!" Fiyero exclaimed, his whole mood changing from angry to hopeful in just a moment. "You love me too! I know you do! That… that day in grove… we were going to-"

"Shut _up_, Fiyero!" she screamed, fighting the urge to slap him again. "You don't know _what_ happened that day!"

"It's not about what did happen!" he protested, hopefulness turning back into anger. "It's about what would've happened!"

"And why didn't anything happen, Fiyero? Oh, that's right! It's because you ran away! How can you come to me, after _months_ of ignoring me, with these confessions of yours?" Elphaba asked him, her blood surging inside of her. She had to be extra careful about not accidentally letting her magic get out of hand.

"I don't know what I even saw in you… You distorted-" Fiyero shouted, infuriated.

"Ooo, so tough!" Elphaba mocked him.

"-repulsive-"

"Heard it all before!" she taunted, though she felt she was getting ready to break from fighting with Fiyero... she just couldn't do it anymore. Maybe she should just apolo-

"WICKED WITCH!" he yelled finally, though he regretted his words as soon as he spoke them.

Elphaba froze, tears filling her eyes. Fiyero longed to apologize and make it up to her, but as he feared, the damage that had been done was clear when she spoke:

"I wish you were dead."

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><p><strong>Hm. Like that's not gonna give Fifi any ideas. PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Just to give everyone a fair warning, I have nothing else written so far, so it may be weeks or months before I update this story again. But then *toss toss* if you guys gave me the proper encouragement through REVIEWS, I might get inspired and write faster. Who knows...**

**Also, if this chapter seems weird, it's because half of it was written several months ago, and the other half was written like, yesterday, haha. One-shots will still be updated as regularly as possible, and TaTA will probably only be updated once I get another threat from my best friend who has the best pen-name on all of FF, vinkunwildflowerqueen. That's right. She's awesome. =)**

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><p>Just moments after Elphaba had spoken, Madame Morrible came stomping onto the green, doing her best to disperse the crowd of staring students. Fiyero looked at Elphaba, eyes wide with hurt and regret, but Elphaba swiftly turned on her heel and marched back to her dorm, tears begging to fall the entire time.<p>

Fiyero, however, was practically glued to spot he was standing in.

What in Oz just happened?

Fiyero had barely any time to register what was being said during the fight at the time, but now that he was replaying it in his head, he realized just how over-the-line he'd been acting. But then, Elphaba wasn't completely innocent either.

But it didn't really matter whose fault it was now, because Elphaba was pissed at him. This had definitely not been on his list of 'How to Get Elphaba to Go out with Me.' In fact, it was actually on the list of 'How to Get Elphaba to Wish I Was Dead.'

And then the idea struck him.

Immediately, he set off toward his dorm room. This was a job that would require some help, and who better for him to get help from than a Munchkin with nothing better to do?

"Boq!" he called to his roommate as he closed the door. There was Boq, sitting on his bed, reading a Life Science text book.

"What?" he mumbled into the hand he was leaning on.

"I'm gonna commit suicide!" Fiyero exclaimed happily, falling onto his bed.

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><p>"Have you seen Fiyero today?" Elphaba asked Galinda at lunch on Monday. They were eating lunch in the dining hall that day, and since Boq and Nessa were off at a different table with another group of friends, it was just Elphaba and Galinda.<p>

"No, I haven't," Galinda replied. "But I heard you two had quite some fight last night."

Elphaba could tell that Galinda was trying to act nonchalant about the whole ordeal, but was failing miserably.

"Yeah, I said something… I really shouldn't have said, and I've been looking for him to apologize," Elphaba confessed.

"What did you say to him?" Galinda asked, slightly concerned that her friend might just be looking for a reason to blame herself.

"I…" Elphaba hesitated. "Um, I'd really rather not say until he's forgiven me, if you don't mind."

Galinda pouted briefly, but quickly changed the topic of their conversation to her new white shoes.

"Do you think I'm wicked?" Elphaba suddenly asked, interrupting Galinda's rant about the difference between white and crystal.

"Excuse me?" Galinda gasped.

"Am I wicked person?" Elphaba repeated, with a serious look on her face.

"Elphie, that's absurd!" Galinda stated, tossing her chin up slightly. "You're the most giving person I know… besides myself, of course. What would possibly make you think that you're wicked?"

"Nothing," Elphaba said quickly, "I just-"

"Was it something Fiyero said?" Galinda interrupted. Elphaba sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, it was," she admitted. Galinda gaped at her.

"He called you wicked?" she exclaimed.

"More or less," Elphaba muttered, trying to not care, but not succeeding.

"Ooo, I'm gonna slap the white pants of that boy!" Galinda shouted, standing up.

"No, Galinda, don't. I'm serious. It's fine."

Galinda gave her a worried look, but said nothing else on the matter.

The week went by more slowly than Elphaba thought possible. It was now Friday afternoon, and there was still no sign of Fiyero. Galinda had eventually worked up the courage to inform Madame Morrible of his absence earlier that morning and there were now police officers searching the grounds for the Vinkun prince.

"What if they don't find him?" Galinda voiced her worries aloud to Elphaba in the dining hall that afternoon. "What if he's hurt? What if he's de-"

"Don't say that, Galinda!" Elphaba snapped. "I'm sure that he's just fine."

Elphaba couldn't bear the thought of something seriously disastrous happening to Fiyero… How would she apologize for yelling at him; for wishing that he was dead?

The words had slipped out by accident, of course. Elphaba could never really wish death upon someone, no matter how much it seemed they were asking for it. And no matter how heartless and cold she seemed, Elphaba genuinely cared about most people. Even before she and Galinda had become friends, Elphaba found it near impossible to hate Galinda as much as she claimed, simply because she was incapable of pure loathing.

And while Fiyero may've deserved a good slap to the face or punch in the stomach, what she'd said was over the line, and she wouldn't deny it.

As Elphaba walked down hallway, away from the dining hall, she saw Boq sitting on a bench with his head in a book. Perhaps he had some inkling of an idea of where Fiyero could be; he was his roommate after all.

"Boq!" she called to him, slightly quickening her pace towards him.

Boq looked up, and he saw the green girl pacing toward him. _Uh oh, here come the questions again,_ he groaned internally.

"Have you-" Elphaba began to ask.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told the cops. Fiyero came back to the room Sunday night, moped around, did some homework, and then left at one in the morning," Boq interrupted, rolling his eyes. Elphaba sighed.

"Are you sure he didn't say anything?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Yeah, but I don't think he's gotten too far-"

"It's been almost a week and the police still haven't found him. Something bad has happened, I can feel it."

"Excuse me," an officer said as he stepped up beside Elphaba, "you were Prince Tiggular's roommate right?" Elphaba's eyes widened noticeably as she looked from Boq to the man.

"Were? As in was? As in the past?" she questioned quickly, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Could you give us a moment, ma'am?" the officer politely requested. He tried to subtly step in front of her to speak to Boq, but Elphaba didn't move.

"Where's Fiyero? Did you find him? Is he alright?"

"I'm sorry, did you know the Prince?" he asked, a bit irritated.

"Yes, I _do_," Elphaba said before she could stop herself, "he's my fiancé."

"His what?" Boq exclaimed, jumping a little as his voice cracks. He and Elphaba glared at each other for a few seconds before silently turning back to the baffled officer.

"Anything you have to say to him, you can say to me," Elphaba decided, ignoring the fact that she was never actually his fiancé… or girlfriend… or _friend_, for that matter.

"I'm sorry, I'm under strict orders," the man apologizes. Elphaba glares at him now, and although he looked uncomfortable, she knew he wouldn't budge on this.

"I'll come by your room later, Elphaba," Boq promised softly before she trudged off to her dorm room, not bothering to glance back.

It was twenty minutes. They waited for twenty minutes. Twenty minutes before Boq came to her room and sat beside her on her bed with Galinda on her pink bed across the room. Boq's eyes were red, which instantly cause Galinda to begin hyperventilating, and Elphaba to become emotionless for the time being.

"They um, they found Fiyero clothes in the Suicide Canal earlier today; they were um," Boq told them, his voice cracking on every four words or so, "they were all that they found…"

"So, they're gonna keep looking, right?" Galinda asked quietly, tears already pouring out of her eyes. "I mean, maybe Fifi is just running around naked or something… as a joke."

Boq shook his head. Elphaba's eyes filled with tears when she realized what had happened. This was all her fault. This was all her fault. This was all her damn fault. All her-

"Galinda… Fiyero's been gone for over a week," Boq said sadly, burying his face in his hands. Galinda let out a loud sob, running to Elphaba, who was crying as well, and hugging her at tightly as possible.

"They think Fiyero's committed suicide."

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><p><strong>Also, if you haven't checked it out yet *shameless plug* please please please please PLEAASSEE go read Time and Time Again *and* if you like blonde teenage boys who like to bake bread and strangle girls (or you've read Mockingjay), go read Ice in July. Okay, enough with the plugs.<strong>

**Question: Favorite way to say 'red wines' in a German accent.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So for starters, this is a super short chapter, and most of it was written by vinkunwildflowerqueen (I will never get tired of typing that)... like, earlier today. So, everyone should gather into a peace circle and pat Carlie on the back because without her... I probably wouldn't be posting this chapter for another month. So.. yah. I owe her one.**

**Have fun reviewing and stuff. =)**

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><p>The next few hours of Elphaba's life passed by in a haze. Morrible had to gather the entire student-body and faculty into the auditorium to tell everyone the horrifying news that their beloved, dancing, Vinkun prince had killed himself. Naturally, the entire school burst into tears of sadness, shock, and confusion.<p>

Why would the carefree prince take his own life? So many had seen him hours before he went missing, and he'd seemed completely happy with his life. Several people, who'd known that Galinda had broken up with Fiyero that evening, blamed _her_, and that really only succeeded in causing her to cry even harder into Boq's shoulder… not that Boq was really complaining about that part, despite the dire circumstances.

There were at least two dozen people on campus who knew of the fight between Elphaba and Fiyero. However, none of them heard Elphaba's parting words. And nobody saw Fiyero's broken expression. And so no one blamed Elphaba directly for his suicide, which really only made it harder for her to stomach.

She assumed that his parents had been informed immediately, and the very thought of their reactions made her throw up in her dorm room's bathroom. It was unlike Elphaba to cry so much, or at all, for that matter. Normally, she hid somewhere nobody would find her until she decided to face the world again. But this was different… She didn't need to hide, because no one was looking for her. Those who didn't blame Galinda were looking for the blonde to try and comfort her. But as far as most people knew, Elphaba and Fiyero were barely even acquaintances.

"Elphie?" Elphaba head snapped up to see Boq standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"What?" she asked softly, ignoring that he called her 'Elphie.'

"I um… I found something in Fiyero's things… it's addressed to you," he says timidly, holding out an envelope. Elphaba jumped up and snatched it out of his hands and looked up at him with sorrowful eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Boq," she told him quietly. He nods quickly not looking her in the eyes.

"I'll see ya later," he said before leaving her alone again. Elphaba looked down at the note, her heart pounding, and collapsed on her bed.

Seconds, minutes, maybe even hours had passed before she gathered the courage to open it. It smelled like him, she observed. The writing on the envelope was his. That "trying-too-hard-to-look-sloppy" handwriting…

She slowly and carefully opened the envelope, being careful not to tear it at all. Again, it took her awhile to summon the courage, but when she looked down at the note, she burst into tears.

_Dearest Elphaba,_

_I love you, did you know that? I know you don't particularly like the thought of someone loving you and you probably don't believe it… I guess the reason why is a mystery I'll never solve now, but I couldn't go through with this without you knowing that._

_I wish there were enough words to apologize for what I said to you the other day. I didn't mean it when I called you a wicked witch. You're not wicked, Elphaba. And you never could be. You're the most giving and loving person I've ever known._

_It's why I love you._

_I've been thinking about the day we met. I'll admit to not being as polite as I should have been and I regret that. But I keep coming back to the first parting words I said to you- "Maybe the driver saw green and thought it meant go."_

_It was a mean joke, obviously. At the time, it was nothing but that to either of us. But now that I think about it, I was pretty right about the 'go' part. You're so passionate about everything. And I honestly wonder if you'd be who you are today if you'd been born without the green skin… Would you still be the stubborn, witty, beautiful, adorably unselfish, person you are today? Probably not (besides the beautiful part though)._

_I don't know whether to call it strength, stubbornness, or spite, but I know for whichever reason it is, that you would never do this. In fact, you're probably cursing me as you read this. I hope you don't see me as weak, because I would hate to disappoint you… even in my death._

_You, who are so strong and endure so much unkindness from people who don't look past the green skin (I'm ashamed that I used to be one of them), probably don't understand why I would do this because you said some things in the heat of the moment._

_And I know it was in the heat of the moment, but I also know you were right. There was truth to what you said, I know that now._

_I admit, I don't try very hard at school and if there's an easier way… a shortcut, I'll take it. But believe me when I tell you, I wouldn't be that way as a boyfriend. _

_I mean, this wasn't exactly how I imagined it. Us, I mean. I planned on becoming your best friend; I didn't want to just jump straight into dating… you have too many walls around you for that anyway._

_But eventually, I'd work up the courage to ask you out to dinner, and Galinda would force you into a dress that was much too tight for your liking. You'd be nervous and hostile towards me at first, but slowly, with enough time and enough proof, you'd accept that I'm not as bad as our first meeting may have led you to believe. And then we'd date for a few years, at least until after graduation, before you would finally accept my marriage proposal._

_That's as far as I've gotten. And now everything's changed and I know that future I pictured for us will never happen. _

_Because the simple truth is Elphaba, if there's no place for me in your heart, then there can be no place for me in this universe. I'm sorry that this is the only way to make you see how much I need you._

_And maybe one day you'll forgive me._

_Goodbye,_

_Fiyero_

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><p><p>

**This is the part where everyone cries because Fiyero is dead... or IS HE?**

**Elphaba: Uh, yah, he is.**

**Fiyero.: Yah, I am.**

**Elphaba: ...**

**Fiyero: ...**

**Pippin: ...**

**Alrighty then! Please please please PLEEEAASSEE review. Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter up by this time next month, but reviews make me write faster so... YESSSSSSS.**

**Another huuuggeee thanks to vinkunwildflowerqueen, even though she won't let me read that Fiyeraba she's working on... I mean... I KNOW NOTHING!**

**=)**


	4. Chapter 4

This entire situation was quite unpleasant for Fiyero. For some stupid reason, he'd hoped to feel some sort of sick satisfaction in seeing people freaking out over his "death."

But instead, all he could feel was the utter annoyance that came from being naked in cornfield just outside of campus. He could just _tell_ that the dozens of huge crows in the field were laughing at him. He shifted around uncomfortably.

"Shoo! Get outta here!" he whisper/yelled at them, making crazy arm movements. They didn't budge.

In retrospect, he could've brought an extra pair of pants to change into once he'd suffocated his own prized white pants in mud before tossing them onto some pointed rocks. That, besides pretty much breaking Elphaba's heart a week prior, was probably the most painful moment of his life.

He'd spent the past week of being "missing" in a cabin several miles out of town that was built for passing travelers to stay in for the night. But Fiyero figured that it was in such a random spot, he wouldn't be bothered. And he was right, naturally.

Just like he was right about this whole plan. Well, at least _he_ thought he was right.

Boq had taken some convincing, but eventually, he came around when the price was right. And apparently, the price was Fiyero's Platinum Oz card number. _No biggie, _Fiyero had reasoned, _because if I'm dead, won't they cancel the card anyway? Haha, sucker._

"I will kill all of you!" he hissed at the staring crows, trying to cover himself with a leaf with no success. He _would_ just go back to his dorm when the sun had set according to Boq's game plan, but the game plan was made up before Fiyero was standing naked in a field full of suspicious crows. _Must be females_, he figured easily.

Shiz students walked around the campus just beyond the cornfield in almost total silence, afraid that if anyone spoke or laughed, they'd seem uncaring and heartless.

This fact made Fiyero angry. These people didn't even know him. Sure, he'd thrown some pretty amazing parties which gained him more "friends" than he could count, but the sight of seeing a raven haired girl –he'd never seen her before in his life – crying on a bench over his death, being comforted by another girl – also a total stranger – was just absurd. Who were these people? How did they know him? Had they wordlessly watched as he was scolded time after time by his professors? Did they live in the same dorm as him?

He thought about this strange phenomenon the rest of the evening. Who cries over someone they didn't directly know? Or rather, know anything about besides the handsomeness and brilliant party schemes? Apparently, all of Shiz did.

On his planned out route to sneak into his dorm room, Fiyero heard a group of girls talking about the latest events.

"I can't believe he just jumped into the Canal," one of them said. "I can't help but wonder if maybe I could've helped him somehow if I'd said hi to him in the hallway the day he went missing." _Highly doubtful,_ Fiyero thought, waiting patiently in the shadows of the corner he was burrowed in.

"I don't think so, Liliana," another girl said comfortingly. "Galinda dumping him just broke his heart beyond repair. She's the one to blame, not you."

Fiyero scowled to himself. People thought this was Galinda's fault? What did she even have to do with anything? Everyone but her could plainly tell that Fiyero was pretty much over their relationship! Who were these girls? Again, Fiyero really had no idea, though he knew Liliana's name from his Vinkun History class (the class he usually excelled in, but only for the obvious reasons). But their voices didn't sound familiar, telling him that they probably weren't close friends of Galinda's either.

The group of girls left the hallway still talking about Galinda a few moments later, luckily before Fiyero could lose his temper and jump out of his hiding place to set the record straight. When they had vanished from his sight, he continued on his route through the many abandoned hallways and stairways until he reached his room, where he softly knocked on the door.

Waiting for Fiyero as was the plan, Boq immediately opened the door. Fiyero wiggled into the room and was almost to the bathroom when the Munchkin did a double-take.

"Wha- Why are you naked?" he asked, shielding his eyes with a math book.

"Dude, don't look at me," Fiyero snapped, grabbing some clothes from his dresser and running into the bathroom.

"I'm not! I'm not," Boq nodded, turning all the way around in embarrassment.

"Oz, you totally looked," Fiyero groaned as he put his clothes on.

"I didn't, I swear!"

"Chill, Boq, I know," the supposedly dead Prince laughed.

Rolling his eyes, Boq said in a hushed whisper, "Will you keep it down? You shouldn't even be here yet. The plan was that you'd show up at one. Not eight. What if someone walks in?"

Fiyero came out of the bathroom fully dressed a few moments later before saying, "Nobody's gonna walk i-"

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Boq and Fiyero began to make desperate hand gestures at each other, trying to figure out what to do.

"Boq, it's Elphaba. You there?"

"Elphaba," Fiyero whispered. Again, there were even more desperate movements before Boq finally shoved Fiyero under his bed which was still in the condition Fiyero had left it a week prior.

Opening the door, Boq stepped aside and motioned for Elphaba to come in.

From under the bed, Fiyero just barely held in a groan as he softly pushed what looked like a three month old turkey sandwich away from him. _Why is that turkey black? _his thoughts exclaimed in disgust as he held a sort of clean sock up to his nose to block the stench.

"Sorry, for coming over so late," Elphaba apologized. She was shocked to see all of Fiyero's belongings still in the room, thinking they'd have already been shipped off to the Vinkus by now. It threw her off more than she could have predicted, as it felt like Fiyero was there only a few minutes ago. She even thought she could smell his cologne lingering in the air, causing her heart to start aching all over again.

"What's on your mind?" Boq asked, sitting on his bed. Elphaba thought of just continuing to stand but her grief overcame her better judgment and she sat on the edge of Fiyero's bed.

"You said before that he moped around here before he…" Elphaba swallowed. "Did he… Did he mention me?"

Rather than let his mind focus on the negative, Fiyero took this moment to recognize that while he could see a line of ants leading out of the "turkey" sandwich, Elphaba was sitting on his bed with him. Well, he wasn't really _on_ the bed, but it was sort of the same. Years later, he'd compare it to Elphaba sitting on his lap.

Boq, however, struggled to refrain from letting his eyes wander to the foot that was sticking out from under Fiyero's bed as he replied shakily, "Why- Why would he mention you?"

"Boq, people have been blaming Galinda. _Galinda_. How could they- She didn't even- He wanted to be-" Elphaba struggled to find the right words. But how do you tell someone that you caused their best friend and roommate's suicide? Easy, you don't.

But this guilt had been eating at Elphaba all week, and now that she knew he actually did kill himself, she needed to tell someone. Normally, she'd tell a secret like this to Galinda, but when the blonde came back to their room earlier that night still in tears, she needed to get away as soon as possible.

"You wished he was dead," Boq finished somberly with a nod. Elphaba lifted her gaze to his.

"So he did talk to you that night. Why did you lie to me? To the police?" she demanded.

"Don't think I've forgotten that you also lied to the police," Boq reminded her. "Where do you get off saying something like that? That you were engaged? You were barely friends!"

"I _would've_ been his wife!" Elphaba almost shouted as she stood up. Boq and Fiyero both held their breath. "I might as well say it. He's gone anyway. He killed himself because I wouldn't love him back."

"Elphaba, I don't understand-" Boq started, seeing Fiyero's foot twitch. It was small movement but it was enough. He needed to get Elphaba to talk somewhere that the Vinkun wasn't present or he'd surely give himself away.

Walking to the door, Elphaba said, "I've learned to build some pretty tall walls around my emotions. And he danced right through the front gate. But now he's gone, and it's all my fault."

* * *

><p>Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been working so hard on Ice in July, but soon I'll be focusing all on my Wicked fanfics, so pleaaase review! 3<p>

Every time you review a fanfic, you help prevent the suicides of fictional characters everywhere.


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